Coast To Coast Stuck In Kansas

They were traveling west, when allofasudden, out from the booby-trapped brush, out from the hologrammed trees came the ambush. The T.R.I.B.E., with their Kong-like chests and pillared thighs, struck with the fury of a thousand flaming Stallions.

There are wars, oh my pale inferiors, and there are massacres. When a massacre strikes, the travelers never wake from their naps atop and below the blanketed corner of their covered wagons. Coast to Coast was left hopelessly and unexpectedly mangled in the slumber of their now red-wet sheepskin wool. They believed they could pass through our land, defile our courts with their young and ambitious sneakers. They had no right to such an odious and ignorant belief.

But we are peaceful men. The T.R.I.B.E., with their Saint-sized hearts and parental prowess, have taken the children of Coast to Coast under our shady, Palm-like wings. They will be raised like the thousands of T.R.I.B.E.smen before them were raised: From the milk of grass-fed bison and with a knowledge of the falcon's flight and the basket's give. They will know the feel of rim inside their fingers and air beneath their feet. They will speak the tongue of zone and pick, of alley-oop, of flying v.

Thank us if you will, though your gratitude is not our goal. We live this way because it is the way of our ancestors. It is the way of Boo-Yaa, the way of the empire. Our Empire.

Affectionately Yours,
The Postmaster General
On Behalf of And One Presents: The Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E.

As And One Presents: The Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. prepares to bring an Intramural Championship T-Shirt back to the Too Real International Boo-Yaa Empire's Wall of Fame, we have compiled a list of goals to be completed by the time of our crowning. We have decided to share our list with you in the inaugural Intramural Diary Post here on Oleville. Enjoy.

1) Score the phone number of an opposing player's girlfriend;
preferably a member of the GQ Unit. Need I say, too easy?

2) Remind the Raiders and the Blazers that better teams already have those names.
Then remind them that And One Presents: The Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E. is the best team on earth with the name And One Presents: The Boo-Ya T.R.I.B.E.

3) Switch from Grey Goose to Gatorade Frost and Grey Goose.

4) Remind Git-R-Done that they meant to say Get Her Done. Then Remind them that this is a silly name, and that Girls can't play sports.

5) Tease Whole Lotta Game. Tell them that their name should have been Whole Notta Game. Then laugh at them.

6) Tell the cute referee that she might be able to get a date with The Prime Sinister and/or but not exclusive to Juan H as long as she doesn't enforce the dribbling rule for us.

7) Bring home an opponents achilles tendon after every game.

8) Think outside the Bun after every win.

9) Tell at least one player from every team that we like the way his mouth eats.

10) Perfect the Flying V.

With Affection,
The Post Master General
on behalf of And One Presents: The Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E.